How much , how many ...... what's the answer you have !!!

Some way or the other , we all run behind the NUMBERS , so that , we can have something graceful to answer the questions like "how much you got in that exam" , "how much you earn" , "what is your average working hours" , "how many flats/car your own ", "how many cards do you have in your wallet " , "how many friends you have , how many girlfriends did you have " , "how many exotic places you visited , how many exotic whiskys have you tasted " , "how many LIKES you got on FB " , "how many followers you have on your blog ", "how many VIEWS you got on your channel on YouTube"

NUMBERS make it so easy for us to judge people ...... isn't it ?

But I wonder why , after all our endeavour with NUMBERS , we never were and will never be able use them as an answer to the questions like "how much pain a mother bears to give birth to a child " , "how much a father suffers to raise his children well ", "how much thrill and excitement a boy feels while paddling a cycle for first time " , "how content you are to get something you've been longing for " , "how happy you feel to talk for the first time to a girl you always craved for , and how sad you feel when the same girl goes with someone else " , "how much you care for your friends , and how much you hate your foes " ; may be because the NUMBERS were meant to count the THINGS not to value the HUMANS and their SPIRITS .................................!!!

When In Love..........

when you start skipping the food for no healthy reason

when you are not aware of the date not aware of the season

when you dont feel like shaving when you look into the mirror

when you loose track of the world , no more you read the newspaper

when you dont listen to anybody and you are out of control

when the days and nights are stagnant, no more they roll

when you start finding the solace in that sweet pain

when you listen to same love songs again and again

when the whole day you try for some moments to steal

when you know that she knows what you feel

when you know her wink is no more a mere bonhomie

when the only visible thing around is that smile so bonny

when the moments spent with her is earning of the day

spending whole night lying awake and thinking how to say

when the only thing which matters is her YES or NO

when you start staring at nothing outside the window

when you start feeling angry if she talks to anybody else

when even the thought of her going away make you loose the pulse

when you start bothering about her every minute every second

when your hearts sinks in deciding is she near or way ahead

when you start listening her voice from the air that flows

when you find her face the only thing around that glows

when you can see her there every time you close your eyes

when you day-dream about her without having others being realized

while walking beside her you dont feel the sun

when she is not around even the rain causes burns

when she is there you feel at the top of the world

when she is not around the world looks like abandoned boulevard

when you always want to feel the touch of her hand

when her acts of coming close n going away are not easy to understand

when you wish to come to a moment to sit beside and say it all.....

say that I am in love with you ...you reside in my heart and soul.

After I met you .......

I didn't remain the person i was , after i met you

i will metamorphosed into a human, no one had a clue

gone are torn jeans heavy bracelets, which made people get scare

beard is cleaned, oiled and side-parted are now my unkempt hair

i don't know where from within me this poet came out

given me you as a reason and inspiration to write about

all of sudden i could feel and love the things those were never there

music in rain, the silence of the night , the freshness in the air

when you walk besides me holding my hand in your hand

i feel so content and happy , there is nothing more i could demand

and when you look at me and smile and sometimes when you wink

can feel the dizziness more than what i get after having alcoholic drink

i always intentionally leave my lip-sides messed with sauce

so that you wipe it out moving your finger all across

i always intentionally get late at the meeting place

so that i beg you pardon and can see that concealing enjoyment on your face

how i wish i just keep looking at your lovely face

those black eyes, red lips, rouged cheeks are my means of solace

sliver of glasses that hang from your ear, creates an environment of merriment

leaving me in the state of trance, arresting me in your beauty's confinement

can never forget that feeling of bliss

the first time i held you tight while we kissed

myriad emotions flow in my veins when you hold my arms on a ride

the feeling of love the feeling of togetherness and moreover the feeling of pride

can never forget those winter nights when your nose becomes red

when we remained unmoved and cuddled up in that cozy bed

and those summer nights, when we sat on the porch looking at the sky

it was your hair that cools off that wind which was hot otherwise

after you came i realized how drab my life was

people admonished me for my deeds but i never paused

it was you who killed my insolence, no more i had that pseudo-intellect epithet

made me a person to be charmed, flowered my heart that was barren and derelict

before you came, it was only me, my solitude and a life like a dead-tree

i don't need anybody damn !! was the only subject of my soliloquies

but now i have understood what i lacked and now have fathomed the mystery

that i actually started living my life after you came as a lovely surprise

Dead Man !!!!

When i was young, they craved for me
hysterically crying they ran behind me
never left me alone when living i was
now nobody even care to burn my decaying carcass

cruelty is on my mind

i have become deaf and blind

my paralysed soul wanna weep and yell

that life was not worth, better is this hell

beating, burning, abusing and killing
this i have for world and that's what i am giving
good me gentleman me was ruthlessly slain
now I've found a monster who loves the blood who loves the pain

i wanna eat their flesh wanna give them tumor
wanna tell them what could be a vindictive anger
those who have hurt me will not be excused
for i am no more an altruist , they will be barbecued like a goose

it started like this.........

It started with a talent hunt , “TASHAN” was the name
Sitting at the back, for me it was a taunting game
And then she came, swaggered on stage and done her “monkey act”
I had to shut my trap, hitherto never felt such a profound impact.


“Wow”, instantly came out of my mouth with hiccup
My hand was on my heart and I was looking up
Who is she, who is this bespectacled girl
I was nonplussed, my mind was in a whirl


I felt its raining even the sun was so bright
And then I realized oh man! this is sign of love at first sight
And when she walked down with her bouncing hair
Pop-eyed I thought , this creation of god is rarest of rare.


To watch her, to know about her was about rest of my graduation
I was frenzy about like some an adolescence infatuation
Perfect blend of beauty and considerable brain
Talk to her moron, u’ll never find a girl like her again



At the sports meet her team was at winning spree
I was so happy to see her happy when she celebrated her victory
Congratulated her through message from my cell
But shaken by the reluctant reply I could not even yell


Promised myself that i’ll not trouble her again
It is only illusion-infatuation and I’ll refrain
But couldn’t control myself and pestered her on the net
Mea culpa not to thwart myself as I was too fret


I started asking people what offensive she finds about me
Some told the company u have some told the attire u carry
Perhaps she misread me as some crook or may be weak
Because I don’t look and behave like some computer geek


I’ll never go to her and say what I am and what feel
Suffering from a pain that time can only heal
Will forget her and will lock the emotions in some vault
And will convince my heart that to crave for her was only a fault

First Love.......

i still remember the day when i saw your cherubic face
first time i felt my heart-beat at a different pace
never had a feeling so good so vibrant and so colorful
not even when i had crush on my teacher at school


everything about you is a class
black shoes blue denim and your glass
you captured my brain ,usurped my thinking
the soul of my verse, the beats of my six strings


i feel alone even amid my clique
always thinking to woo u like a hero in the flick
but i m so naive, such thing never i did
being for the first time the prey of cupid


but as if done some felony i steal the glance
always trying to say, give me only one chance
but silence is what i have to speak
cannot just candid like some freak


i know bonny lass u carry an attitude
intriguing charismatic face with nature so rude
but why you loathe me ,i don’t understand
didn't ask for more, just your hand in my hand


i used to think that i am perfect
oh heck ! now i know i was so mad
and it is you who made me realize that
besides many good things i am still very bad


you are seeing somebody, that i know
destiny didn't write your name on my brow
but can't help to control umpteen emotions
will keep loving you with all my devotions


my friends say that i m beyond redemptions
they have already prepared for my cremation
without you i will be happy, chances are very few
it is you whom my first love will always pursue

Living for you only

Living for you only………


All around are the black skies
But there’s still hope in my eyes
Since the day you went away
Am doing nothing but wandering stray


For whom should I work and earn
For what without you should I concern
Is my pain so hard to discern
Begging your mercy, be a little less stern


Don’t you cherish the days when we were together
Used to fly high without having feather
Perhaps you don’t, but I still feel the warmth of your touch
Euphoric days when we waltzed, shared the kisses fudge





When you were near, hot winds were like cold breeze
Now everywhere is barren land, all around are leafless trees
I cannot relish my food, tasteless are brunch and lunch
Every time my heart beats, I feel it like a hard punch


Nobody knows my grief, neither family nor friend
Happy and gay I always pretend
But why you jilted, just give me the reason
Why you locked me up in betrayal prison


I know one day you will regret
The way I am, you’ll also be fret
The day will be when I’ll rest in peace
Leaving behind for you my love’s and my soul’s debris